Only human
by sweetest angel
Summary: Sequel of Captured and trapped. Things have changed for Sesshomaru and Kagome even if they weren't supposed to. The return to the everyday life as if nothing happened was more complicated than they thought. But will the changes be enough? After all, she is only human.
1. Chapter 1 : return in the past

Sequel of Captured and trapped.

Chapter unbeta-ed.

I don't own InuYasha.

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Chapter 1: return in the past

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Mrs Higurashi was sweeping in front of her house, lost in her thoughts. She didn't know what to do. While she was overjoyed to have her daughter back home, sometimes, it seemed like Kagome wasn't completely back. As if a part of her stayed on the other side of the Well.

She knew that her daughter was hiding things from her. She refused to talk of what happened to her during her capture, saying that she was fine and nothing too bad happened. She was lying and Mrs Higurashi knew it. It was rare that her daughter would not wake up at least once in the middle of the night, screaming.  
Just nightmares, she said.

It was happening less often this days but she knew that it wasn't because Kagome was having less nightmares but rather because she wasn't sleeping. She thought that no one knew what she was doing but Mrs Higurashi knows that the young woman was staying awake as much as possible, only allowing herself some naps during the day when less people were around to hear her. Her daughter was getting herself sick and was losing weight again after fighting so much to gain weight since her return back home, three weeks ago.

She saw cuts and burn marks on her daughter's arms once. Kagome told her that it was nothing and that it looked worse than it really was even if she would not let her mother takes a look. Since her return, her daughter had been wearing long sleeves and pants when she had always preferred to wear skirts. The weather was getting warmer everyday but Kagome still refused to wear lighter clothes.

Another disturbing point is that Kagome refused to leave the shrine. She seemed to have problems to be around people. Her daughter whom had always been a happy child, loving to help taking care of the people coming at the Shrine, was flinching at any strong noises and was disappearing in the little wood around the shrine or in the house each time people were around. In the weeks since her return, Kagome must have left the ground of their home maybe two or three times and only because Mrs Higurashi forced her to get medicine for her grandfather or get her brother after his soccer practice.

It was during one of her rare absences that InuYasha came looking for her. Seeing the young hanyou asking for her daughter after the very tiring days since her return made something in Mrs Higurahi broke. She didn't really remember what she told him when she chased him away from the Shrine to never come back. She still could see the pain filled expression on InuYasha's face when he left and she probably would have felt guilty if she couldn't still hear in her head the screams of her daughter's nightmares. She never told Kagome of his visit, not knowing how her daughter would react. Would she be happy that her friend came looking for her or would it makes things worse seeing him knowing that he failed to protect her? Mrs Higurashi sighed. It was the same dilemma that she had been thinking over since his visit, not knowing the right answer.

She paused in her sweeping and glanced behind her. Kagome was sitting on a bench under the shadow of the sacred tree, lost in thoughts, as always since her return. She had had hope that things were getting better for her daughter. She had been gaining weight slowly but surely making Mrs Higurashi hoped for the best only to have everything changing in the last couple of days. Kagome lost her appetite and vomited almost any time she succeeded in having something in her stomach. She had left things alone, not wanting to make things worse for her daughter by forcing her to do something she didn't want to but enough was enough. Now it was time to act before Kagome's health was even more in danger.

When Kagome came back home, she thought that finally, everything was behind her. At first, she thought that she only had physical wounds to hide and everything would be fine. She even had succeeded in dodging her family's questions on what happened to her. But all this, it was without considering what she could not control… her subconscious.

Each time she closed her eyes, the pain, the hurtful words, the red eyes of Naraku were mocking her at every moment. While she could make herself think about other things when she was awake, as soon as she was sleeping, she had no control anymore. After the first nights waking the whole house with her screams, she had to tell her mother some parts of what happened. Not much, though, much to her mother dismay, only of her capture and that she saw some horrible things there. However, she never told her that she had been tortured and what happened with Sesshomaru. In fact, the only thing she said was that she wasn't alone in the cell and that this person helped her a lot.

She didn't say much but apparently, the way she said it was enough for her mother to deduce that her daughter admired this person a lot. Kagome didn't even try to deny it. It was the truth after all.

So to avoid more questions and to worry less her family, Kagome took the habit to catnap in the afternoon when everyone was busy elsewhere and tried to stay awake as much as possible during the night. After three weeks like that, she was exhausted. She lost weigh again and tent to fall asleep anywhere at any time now.

Finish for her the school uniform, the short skirts and the short sleeves. Summer was almost there with its heat, but Kagome was still in pants and long sleeves t-shirts. She was forced to tell her mother that she had a couple of scars because of her ordeal and didn't want to show them. It was putting it mildly when she was covered by them.

There was one good thing; after three weeks in the future, still no trace of InuYasha. She should feel guilty for those feelings but she couldn't. She knew that she should have at least inform her friends that she was back and safe but she didn't have the strength as of yet to confront any of them. When her family was content, more or less, with half answers, it would not be the same with the gang and worst InuYasha. She wasn't ready to face them.

In the last days, she had been able to feel more and more the worried glances of her family as her health was taking a nose dive again. She could not keep anything in her stomach. Any food or strong scent was making her nauseous and when she forced herself to eat, she could not keep it down more than five minutes before she throw up. Her family wasn't the only one truly worried. She wasn't stupid. Something was really wrong with her.

She was shaken out of her thoughts by her mother's voice beside her. She didn't hear her but by worried voice, she had been calling her several times.

"Kagome ?"

"Yes, mom ?"

Her mother didn't say anything more and handed her a piece of paper. Eyebrows furrowed, Kagome took it.

"What is it ?" She asked, puzzled.

"I took a rendez-vous for you to see the doctor."

"Mom-"

"Not a word Kagome." Mrs Higurashi cut her off. "You will go. You can't continue like that. You haven't been keeping anything down in the last three days and you are not sleeping. Yes I know that you are keeping yourself awake to avoid the nightmares to not worry us. I know you, my daughter, I know that you are always thinking of us and trying to not worry us. But now, you need to worry about yourself. You are ill so you will go see the doctor, and that's final." She said firmly.  
Seeing Kagome hesitating still she softly added. "Please, Kagome. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me."

Kagome looked down at the paper in her hands, turning over and over. Her mother put her hand on hers, stopping her movement.

"Please."

Kagome looked up at her mother. She knew that she was right. Something was really wrong with her and it wasn't just that she couldn't sleep because of her nightmares. The doctor could maybe give her something to sleep without dreaming and found out why she couldn't eat now without throwing up. She knew that her mother was right but… how will she explain the scars? It was the only thing that was making her hesitating.  
She needed to be lucid though, and she could not continue like that or she would probably end up in a hospital.

"Ok."

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When she came back from her rendez-vous, she was in a daze. What was she going to do?

She had been right; the first thing the doctor remarked was her numerous scars. When she was waiting to see him, she cooked up the explanations that she was going to serve to the good doctor. She decided to tell him half-truth. She told him that she had been kidnapped with someone else far away while she was travelling and she had been back home only for a few weeks. If it hadn't been in the media it was normal. The 'person' that kidnapped her was still running and it was decided that no media should talk about it until he was caught. He wasn't buying it totally but he had been following the Higurashi for years now, since she was a child really, so he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. There was no reason for the maiden of the Higurashi Shrine to lie that he knew. He prescribed to her some cream and oil to massage all her scars to help reduce them a bit. For the pills for sleeping that she asked about, he told her that he needed more information before deciding what would be the best for her. He took some of her blood to make urgent analysis and made her pee in a cup. He didn't tell her anything but it seemed that he already knew what the problem was.

He kept her talking. He wasn't duped. The only explanation for the collections of marks on her body was torture. It was the only explanation for having cutting, burning and so on scars all over. Kagome knew that she couldn't lie about this.

He made her wait in the room while he continued with other patients. She had the choice either she waited there or she could come back later or he would call her as soon as he had the results. She preferred to not move. She couldn't go back home now without knowing what was wrong with her. She waited a few hours, she didn't know how long, and might have slept a bit. She was surprised when an assistant came back with the results first analysis and told her that the doctor was going to see her in a bit.

When he came back in the room he looked at her with what could be qualify as pity in his eyes. She thought the worst. Was she dying? But when he told her what her 'illness' was she was shocked to say the least. When thinking back now it was not that shocking and she didn't know why she hadn't thought of it.

She was pregnant.

Her frozen reaction combine with her multitude of scars might have made him thought of rape because he immediately told her that he could give her information about abortion. She snapped out of her frozen stance long enough to tell him that she hadn't been raped when she realized what he was trying to say without saying it clearly. She just told him that it was with the other person that was kidnapped with her but no rape was involved and that she didn't want an abortion.

He gave her the name of an OBGYN and prescribed to her vitamins because she had several deficiencies. She was too weak and too thin and it was good neither for her or the baby. She told him that she was going to live with some family in the countryside and after some hesitations he gave her the prescription for medication for two whole months with the promise to see another doctor there as soon as possible. He explained what she needed to do to get better but she didn't remember everything.

In fact, she was home with a bag from the pharmacy but she didn't remember how she got back to the shrine. When she walked in the house, her mother wasn't home. What was she going to tell her? She couldn't face her she thought hyper ventilating.

Waves of panic assaulted her then.  
She prepared her bag in a hurry. She left a message to her mother saying that the doctor told her that nothing grave was going with her health and that he prescribed vitamins essentially so she could recover from her ordeal. That she was going back to the past and not to worry.

It was only when she was on the other side of the well that another wave of panic caught up to her. What was she going to say to the gang? To InuYasha? What would she do if what Naraku said was the truth? How would she react then?

As she climbed out she saw that no one was there waiting for her much to her relief. She had never been happier for this occurrence.

She hesitatingly made her way towards Edo. In the distance, she saw Kaede sweeping in front of her hut.

As soon as the old miko spotted her, she let it fall on the ground and made her way as quickly as she could towards Kagome. She did the same with her bag and threw herself in the arms of the older woman.

Soon they were sitting around the fire with a cup of tea. Kaede didn't say anything and just wait knowing that pushing for answer was the best way to don't have any. After some hesitation, Kagome told her everything.

The young Miko watched all the expressions switched on Kaede's face but Kagome could not stop herself now that the gate was opened. Shock and pity was evident on the older woman's face but she didn't say anything.

She even told her that she wasn't alone in her cell. At the last second, she remembered that she wasn't supposed to say anything about this. So she stayed vague only saying that someone else was with her in her cell and that he helped her a lot. She ended up by saying something happened between that mysterious person, a youkai, and her during their captivity.

Seeing the shock on Kaede's face she hesitates but ended up blurring out that she was pregnant.

The older Miko stayed silence for a full minute, sipping her tea. She then told her that she was not going to lie that she was a bit disappointed but she understood how something like that could have happened. They were alone in their cell and could count only on each other. She was more shocked that it could happen at all. She heard rumors about a miko-youkai couple or two through the history, other than her sister and InuYasha and they didn't count since they didn't do much more than holding hands, at least when she was alive. But more than the act it was the procreation that surprised her. Her powers should have neutralized the youkai's semen, at which Kagome blushed. Kaede, unperturbed, told her that miko powers are able to destroy, to a certain extent, foreign bodies and poisons.

Kaede told her also that she could have guessed that something was different in Kagome because she could detect, even with her weak powers, the fluctuations of her aura, more than usual, like a dancing flame. She prepared for her a pouch with herbs to help her calm her nerves, settle her stomach and sleep. When she told her what herbs could be good for her and that it was not hurtful for the baby, Kagome realized that her doctor in the future told her about several of those herbs during her rendez vous but she had forgotten in her shock.

She gave her also something to carry around her neck. It would hide her smell. It should work for only a court period since it will be impossible to hide her pregnancy when the baby's heart will start beating. The barrier hiding her scent should work for, at most, four weeks.

Kagome, blushing, thanked her.

That's when Kaede put down her tea cup and, fixing her with her good eye, asked her bluntly.

"Now, when are you going to inform the Western Lord of this?"

Kagome froze. "How…?" She asked, shocked.

"I'm old, not stupid child. I don't know any other Youkai around you powerful enough to maybe explain those fluctuations in your aura beside InuYasha's brother. And stubbornness seems to run in this family. Also, while I don't doubt that your captivity played an important part, Sesshomaru-sama is the only Youkai that you respect enough that it could evolve to this situation. It is more surprising from his part than yours." Realizing that it could badly be interpreted, she added. "But on another end, while I don't know much of InuYasha's brother, if he was to be involved with a human, as surprising as it is, I don't think another human could be a candidate other than you."

They talked a bit more after that and Kagome panicked again when Kaede told her that her friends would be back today. But the older Miko reassured her that she will explain some things to them as soon as they would be there to limit the questions. After, it would be at Kagome to explain everything when she will be ready.

Kagome thanked her profusely. She was exhausted but at the same time, the confidence she had done with Kaede made the weigh she was carrying on her shoulders a bit lighter.

She decided to try to sleep a bit, hoping that the herbs will help her to sleep without nightmares.

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End of the first chapter.


	2. Chapter 2 : she is back

Disclaimer : I don't own InuYasha.

Thank you all for your messages and support!

Chapter un-beta-ed.

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Chapter 2:

She is back

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InuYasha and the whole Inutaishi was walking back towards Edo in silence. Unfortunately, the hunt was not successful. No additional shard found. Again. But it was not why the group was unusually silent this time through. The absence of their Miko friend was a heavy weight to carry along.

Sango sighed. Inuyasha's ear twisted in her direction but he didn't turn around, completely lost in thoughts. He hasn't said to them what happened when he went on the other side of the well the last time. He still couldn't believe it. Again, for the hundred time, he thought to that infamous day. The images of what happened still fresh on his mind but seemed like ages ago at the same time.

**_Flashback on that day…_**

_They have been looking everywhere and the morale of InuYasha and his group was lower than ever. They still haven't found Kagome._

_The reunion of the young hanyou with his friends had not been an easy one. He was still angry at them for what he saw as a betrayal and for Miroku's words against Kikyo. At the same time the humans had been less than welcoming at first, making their little reunion really tense. In the end, they ended up agreeing that now wasn't the time for division but for unity instead._

_At first, InuYasha's intentions were to gather his friends and join back up with Kikyo towards the South, as he promised her, but, call it instinct of preservation or something, he realized that it was better to let things settle down before bringing back the problems they have. Now wasn't the time to fight; InuYasha might not be a thinker but even he realized that. So he followed them and didn't voice what his thoughts were, and didn't ask them to follow him, yet. _

_He was ashamed to have lied to the dead miko. Well, it wasn't really a lie when you believe it when you say it, right ? At the time, he had every intention to get them to follow him and even force them to offer him an apology for their words against Kikyo. However, those days alone trailing his friends had helped him calm down and realize that, as she confessed to him later, she didn't know if Kagome was in the South or not. So he decided, to follow the rumors in this area first and if they don't find anything, he will bring up the information the dead miko had given him again and they would then go South. He just hoped that Kikyo will forgive him for the delay._

_And now, after days of following any possible rumor for the whereabouts of their miko friend, they were getting desperate. Weeks went by since they last saw Kagome and they still hadn't had any clue of what happened to her. At the same time, they didn't see hide or hair of Naraku either. The atmosphere was tense. After much discussions, and yes disputes, the young hanyou was convinced they needed to go back to Edo, even if it was just to get supplies and inform Kaede of their progress or lack of thereof._

_They were walking in silence when suddenly InuYasha stopped in his track, making Miroku almost run into his back. The hanyou didn't even react and kept scenting the air._

_"InuYa—" The monk stopped mid-sentence, worrying Sango at his side. "Houshi ?"_

_"Something dark is coming."_

_"A new reincarnation of Naraku's?" She asked, reaching for the straps of her Hiraikotsu. Kirara jumped down from her shoulder, transforming as soon as she touched the ground, hissing violently towards the trees in front of them._

_"I don't know." He answered, also preparing himself to battle. "I'm not sure but, it fells more like…"_

_"Naraku!" Growled out InuYasha._

_A dark laugh echoed around them._

_"Show yourself you coward!" Yelled out InuYasha, grasping Tessaiga, transforming his sword as soon as he had it in his hand._

_Suddenly, the dark hanyou was there, floating just in front of them. "Always so… welcoming InuYasha." He said, mockingly._

_As the wind blew towards them, Miroku watched his growling friend's countenance abruptly change. He had never seen him blanch like that and he could have sworn that a strangled whine had escaped his throat. _

_"InuYasha ?"_

_InuYasha was livid. His brain had difficulties to accept what he was scenting coming from Naraku, who was fixing him with a smirk on his face. When the scent of blood had reached his nose, his mind rebelled against what it meant._

_"What, InuYasha ? You seem unwell?" Naraku asked with fake concern._

_"You… you bastard! What did you do to her?!"_

_His mind might rebel against it but he knew what he scented. Naraku was talking. Saying how much fun he had with Kagome but InuYasha didn't really hear it. For his ears it was just whispered blah blah blah, as if it was far away, his brain having short-circuited. Because, on Naraku, InuYasha could scent Kagome's blood. His brain supplied that Sesshomaru's blood was also present, and in quantity, but it didn't record in his mind._

_With a scream mixed with rage and pain when she realized what it was all about, Sango sent her Hiraikotsu towards Naraku, who dodged it easily and disappeared in a cloud of miasma and laughter._

_For hours, they frantically looked around, to see if they could find where the dark hanyou had come from and went. The blood had been fresh on him, InuYasha confirmed, so he didn't come from far and that meant that Kagome must be around there. However, they couldn't find their friend. It was as if Naraku had dropped off out of nowhere._

_When they realized that they couldn't find anything, panic and anger rose in the group. In the end it was Miroku, the voice of reason more often than not, who said that if Naraku came to taunt them like that it could only mean that Kagome must have been kept around here and if he came himself maybe Kagome succeeded in getting away. If she got away, she would have gone directly to Edo. InuYasha wanted to look around more but after hours of nothing they decided to go towards the well just to be sure. They never ran so quickly before and upon arriving, InuYasha was elated to smell Kagome's scent in the clearing. He was confused by the presence of Sesshomaru's scent again but finding Kagome was more important._

_InuYasha didn't stop. He ran and jumped directly into the well. Sango looked down the well, anxious, and Miroku put a reassuring hand on her shoulder..._

_Once he was on the other side he didn't stop. He jumped out of the well, got out of the wellhouse and was in the direction of the Higurashi's household in seconds._

_It was just when he realized that his missing friend wasn't home that he crossed path with Kagome's mother who was sweeping the front of the house. He didn't have the time to open his mouth to ask where the young Miko was that he was dodging a hit from the broom that Kagome's mother sent towards him with the rage filled cry._

_« What the- » Started to say InuYasha before dodging again._

_« How dare you !? » Screamed Mrs Higurashi, while getting ready to try to hit him again. « How dare you show your face here after what you have done !? »_

_« You were supposed to protect her! »_

_InuYasha's ears flattered on his head. He didn't react to the attack and kept dodging._

_« You promised to protect her, but you fail! Where were you ?! »_

_The young hanyou hesitated for a second at her words and the broom succeeded in hitting his head painfully._

_« You..you fiend ! You failed! you promised to protect her, but you failed. You didn't keep your promise. » She dropped on the ground on her knees._

_« You are not welcome here anymore. I don't want to ever saw your face. Do you hear me? Don't you dare to ever show yourself to here. »_

_InuYasha's breath caught in his throat. Not acknowledging the tears filling his eyes, he whirled around and run back towards the well house, leaving wailing Mrs Higurashi on the ground. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the grandfather of Kagome looking towards him with hatred-filled eyes from the side. _

_Those eyes haunted the young hanyou during his travel back to the past._

**_End of the flashback._**

That's how he ended up back in the Sengoku Jidai Era, looking for shards without Kagome and wondering if they would ever see her again.

He still could not believe the reaction of Mrs Higurashi. Of course, he feels guilty because he hadn't been able to save Kagome. She had to save herself for pity sake. And also, it was true that he was with Kikyo when Kagome came back and was kidnapped. But at the same time, he couldn't have guessed that she would come back early for once. She was always late and usually he was forced to go on the other side of the well to get her back. It wasn't his fault really that she was kidnapped. Mrs Higurashi didn't even let him the time to explain. For a woman so nice and calm, what must have happened to kagome-

He heard someone sighed again behind him, interrupting his thoughts anew. He whirled around, growling. Sango and Miroku froze.

InuYasha turned around again and started to walk again, but quicker.

"What was that about?" Sango asked. Miroku shrugged and followed the young hanyou.

They were seeing Edo now. InuYasha stopped suddenly then started to run towards Edo after saying their missing friend's name, shocking his traveling companions.

As shocking as it was, he was smelling Kagome's scent in the air. He saw Kaede waiting on the path towards her hut as if she was there for them. However, he decided to not wait. The scent was coming from the old miko's hut. Nothing will stop him from seeing Kagome again immediately now she was back. Or so he thought.

He ignored Kaede when she told him to wait. He was passing beside her, and, to his surprise, she extended her broom. It was too close to avoid it and he tripped on it, making him fall and roll on the ground for a couple of meters in a cloud of dust.

He came to a stop, groaning. Unmoved, she said "I told you to wait, InuYasha." She scowled towards his falling form, shaking her hands. The impact was so strong that it broke her broom. It was at this instant that the others arrived in front of Kaede.

"Teme, why did you do that, baba?" InuYasha said, climbing back on his feet.

"You should have listened to me the first time, stubborn hanyou. Look at what you have done!" She said, looking forlornly down to her broken broom.

"Is it true? Is Kagome back?" Asked anxiously Sango.

"Yes she is but she is resting now so don't any of you dare to wake her."

At her vehemence, the whole group froze, not used to hear the old miko speak such.

She sighed. "Let's get over here so she doesn't hear us speaking. Where is young Shippo?"

As she made her way to sit down at the feet of a tree, Sango followed immediately with Kirara.

Miroku, sensing that InuYasha would still try to go towards the hut, he put an hand on his shoulder. "No, my friend. Let's see what Kaede-sama needs to tell us before rushing in and wake up Kagome-sama."

"Feh." The young hanyou answered, slipping his hands in his sleeves before walking towards the sitting women.

"Our young friend is at the kitsune's school." The monk answered the previous question of Kaede.

The old Miko nodded in his direction, feeling suddenly tired.

"It's better that way."

She stayed silent as the others also sat down under the shadow of the tree.

"So, what is it, old hag?" Asked InuYasha, getting impatient.

Kaede sighed again seeking what would be the best way to share what she knows, without reveling too much of Kagome's secrets. How much should she tells? How to start?

"Yes, Kagome is back. But you need to know a few things before jumping on her." She hesitated before continuing. "She had a horrible ordeal and she isn't the same anymore."

Her voice catching, Sango voiced what all of them wanted to ask.

"What do you mean, Kaede-sama?"

"From what I gathered, she was captured by Naraku and stayed there in his hands for three weeks."

Tears filled Sango's eyes. "Oh my…is she…is she ok?"

"Difficult to say, exactly." Answered sincerely Kaede. "Physically, she will heal with time even if she is really weak right now. But mentally…" She trailed off.

"You have to understand something. Her captivity was really difficult, and she was hurt, repeatedly."

Sango sobbed. Miroku closed his eyes, a pain filled expression on his face. Then he opened his eyes and looked towards InuYasha. The hanyou was frozen in place and so white that Miroku thought that he was about to pass out. Because, even if the word hadn't been said, it was on the mind of everyone. Torture.

"I won't go in details, and I probably don't know half of what was done to her there. I will just insist on this : physically she is still really weak but she should get back on her feet in a short time. But mentally, it will take much much longer. What was done to her in that place and to the other prisoners, because apparently, she was not alone, was really traumatic for her. It changed her, on more way than one. So I would ask you to not question her and be patient with her. She will share with you when she is ready and not before."

"Of course Kaede-sama." Miroku said, taking Sango in his arms as she cried for their friend.

"Another important thing. It plays a big part about why she is still recovering really slowly. She-"

She was interrupted by a scream. It was coming from her hut… and it was Kagome's voice.

In a flash, InuYasha was gone.

"Wait, it's nothing…" Started Kaede, but the hanyou was already gone.

"What I was going to say," she started while coming back on her feet with difficulties. "is that she isn't sleeping well and it is preventing her to get the rest she needs in her condition."

"What-"

She turned to look at them and fixed them with her good eye. "Nightmares".

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End of the chapter.

Thank you for reading.

Brooms, the arch enemies of InuYasha! ;)


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